I’ve been struggling a great deal the past few weeks. Falling off the wagon several times, jumping back on again each time, but still managing to fall.

It’s like there is a petulant child within me, begging, whining for sugar and junk food. Having temper tantrums one minute and desperate arguments with me the next. The responsible adult in me tries to reason with my inner child, explaining the do’s and don’ts, reminding her how junk food makes me feel, etc. When that doesn’t work I try ignoring it. but eventually I just give in so as not to hear the whining any longer. Frustrating!

To add to my distress, I had the flu this week. The dramatic change in temperature of late wreaked havoc on my system. Heat and I do not mix well. So while I wasn’t eating much do to the flu, I got more hungry for, and eventually giving in to junk food…ie “comfort food”. A highly erroneous term since the only comfort I get when eating it is knowing I’m secure in my unhealthy habits… maintaining the status quo… staying within my “comfort zone” of depression, low self-esteem, and low motivation.

Comfort Food = Comfort Zone.

So here I am at the end of a horrible week, trying to kick-start myself yet again! I have a new 12 week progressive workout program, Amazing Abs Solution, that I’m forcing myself to do, in conjunction with my kettlebell workouts. Exercise seems to be the only thing that gets me out of my funk. Of course, while in a funk, exercise is the last thing I want to do. But after a week of being a couch potato, I’m doing the work out, and feeling the hint of renewed spirits and commitment.

The next hurdle is food. I’m totally broke at the moment having just paid rent and my metro pass, so I won’t be able to replenish my much needed healthy food stocks till Thurs. Ugh! Thankfully I just got a new stock of Shakeology packs last week, which is always a good first meal of the day, but my fruit and veggies are down to the dregs, lasting me only a couple more days. However, I still have some soup, nuts, and oatmeal. I’ll survive. The nice thing about not having any money is that, although I can’t restock on healthy food, I can’t buy more junk food either.

Sorry this is short, but since I haven’t posted in a while, I just wanted to throw out a quick update. I’ll put together a new post this next week with some tips on vitamins, superfoods, and proper workouts. Focusing on writing that post will help me refocus on my path.

Have an enjoyable 4th of July, and a great week!

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